My College Plans, or Rather the Lack-there-of

Welcome back!!!

I have always been a bit of an entrepreneur like my mom. I have started too many businesses to count but, of course, all of them have fallen through. However, I have a lot of faith in this one and I just have a feeling that this is the one. My business is With Love, Pixie Rain (if you haven’t followed me on Instagram or Pinterest feel free to do that now). There isn’t an exact reason why I feel the most confident about this business. Maybe it's the determination to not go to college, which we will discuss later, or perhaps the fact that I have already done more for this business than any other one that I have started. I learned a couple weeks ago that taking Imperfect action is far more beneficial than waiting for the perfect moment and perfect set up to take your first step. So that's what I did. AS i said in my first blog, I really have no idea what I am doing. I ask my mom as many questions as I can because she is actually good at this stuff, but other than that I am blindly going into this. 

With Love, Pixie Rain is not just a business where I sell really cute handmade art but it’s also a platform where I feel like I can truly be who I want to be. Right now my followers consist of friends from work, friends from church, and my family. Which is great and all, but I do plan on growing my page to find a community of girls who are similar to me. I also talked a lot about this in my first blog post. 

Ok now the big question… Why do I not want to go to art school?

Ever since around seventh grade I have hated school. And yes, I know, hate is a strong word…but it is completely true. I hated it. I dreaded every morning and I dreamed about graduating then packing everything I owned into a van and traveling around the country. Cute right, until I found out how much the VW buses cost, not so cute anymore. After learning that I would probably never have the money for that life plan I decided that I just wasn’t gonna go to college and I was going to start a business. But, I never did and the years passed and my business ideas went away. I followed my friends paths through school, I did the least amount of work required to pass and I got into dual credit at our local college by 3 points. After my first year of dual credit I made a plan to at least get my associates as quickly as possible, but that was it. And that's exactly what I did. My parents were always very supportive of my decisions, especially in school. However, that sort of changed when they realized I was serious about not wanting to go to college. During the second year of dual credit, my parents wanted me to start looking into different colleges. So I did, I looked for art schools. Art school seemed like the closest thing I could get to not going. 

My plan was set in my senior year of high school. With no college in mind, I knew that I would finish my associates degree that year then have a gap semester and start art school that coming fall. Then I changed my mind. I started noticing the looks on peoples faces when I told them I wanted to go to art school. I started noticing that when my friends talked about what they were going to do, they seemed to have it all figured out. I started questioning whether I made a stupid choice by going a more abstract course rather than something in the science field. So, I did the worst thing I could have done for a girl who loved to draw and hated school. I did my research and talked to counselors and I got my whole plan together on how to become… a marine biologist.

I am literally scared of the ocean, WHY THE FLIP WOULD I CHOOSE MARINE BIOLOGY?!?!?!

I was so sure about this decision for a solid 3 weeks. I was so sure that I told everyone within a 5 foot vicinity what my plan was. I was so excited that I finally had a solid plan. Then my dad said “Pixie, we need to talk.” He sat me down and asked me a bunch of questions about my everyday life. Simple questions like, what do I do when I am happy or sad or bored? Of course all of the answers had something to do with creating. I never went and studied fish when I was sad. 

Seriously, I don’t know what I was on those couple of months. I literally can’t stand the smell of fish. Like what???? 

Anyway, after the conversation with my dad I was left really confused. I felt so lost and alone really. All my friends had their lives planned out step-by-step and I was 50 steps behind but progressing the fastest through the basics. I don’t know if I have ever been more “stuck” in my entire life. I felt so much shame when making the decision to switch back to art. I had already told all those people about my future, how was I going to tell them that everything changed. The worst part, in my opinion, wasn’t the change itself. It was the fact that I was just going back to what my original plan was. It felt like I was giving up before I even started. 

Then it hit me. Who cares? Nobody that I told is going to care that I switched back to art. Those people probably didn’t even remember that art was my original plan. In the end I had to remember that this was my life and I can change it up as much as I want. 

And that ideology stayed in my head. This is my life. I only get to live it once so why would I waste my time on something that 1) I don’t want to do, and 2) I don’t need to do. And that’s why I don’t want to go to art school. 

I don’t want to get to the end of my life and regret not doing something. I think that could be one of my biggest fears. So, this is my push to reach my goal. I talked to Chatgpt about all of it (we are besties btw) and we came up with a guided plan on instagram growth and how I need to make my money. I hope I am ready for all this. 

If you want to go support me on instagram that would be amazing!!! 

With love,

Pixie Rain

If you have any blog ideas for me, or you just want to chat, contact me below! Let me know your college story, what’s your plan or your lack-there-of???